I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
