Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
