i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
