This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
then he tried to convert me to islam
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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