you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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