Can Purell be used as lube?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
