EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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