I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
