Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize