i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
