apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize