I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
