Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
