I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My pussy is not your playground.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize