If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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