don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
