its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
