Got a toothbrush?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I want a musical about memes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
