Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
