just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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