there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
