How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
