Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
