I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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