1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
