Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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