Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
