Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
