i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
