the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Shame - the story of my life.
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