What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
