she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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