help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
