i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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