literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
