I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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