new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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