how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
