Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize