bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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