i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
