How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
