cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am available for nakedness
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
