I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
