Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
