I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
