I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
