Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
