I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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