Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
