i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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