Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
