a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
