You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Actions speak louder than pants.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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