I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
