After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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