Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
