We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize