so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
