Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
