I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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