someone threw a dead crab at me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize