your room smells of hookers.
And success
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
