I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
