Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
