You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize