just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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