At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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