Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
