Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize