She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
