We're facebook friends in real life
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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