how can u be prego again
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
this is an emotional support booty call
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
